Logan
by HanaYuki Mika
Summary: Rather than a fiction, these are the thoughts of a fan of the Wolverine and the man behind this title - James "Logan" Howlett.


I just finished watching _Logan,_ and I have to say it left behind a very bitter and sad aftertaste. Wolverine is my favorite X-Man ever! He's strong, handsome and fight for the right, what's not to love? But then, nothing highlights Logan better than the fact how he's a man, more than a hero. Unlike others who chose to walk this path, Logan was forced into it. What angered me is how whenever he got himself away from a fight, he would get sweep up in some crazy conflicts he never wanted any part of, putting his life on the line only to kill, and to watch his friends got killed. During all three movies of _The Wolverine_ I watched, not once did he end up happy because every single time the next movie showed, the man whom the world claimed to be a hero would be back as an animal, living in a crappy life in some hell hole away from civilization while drinking his sorrow away. And to make matters worse, he would get pull into a war between some forces because of his sense of righteousness, ended up risking his life to protect a world which has forgotten and forsaken his existence. At the end, people went back to their normal lives, and Logan would end up back in the same way he started, letting the guilt eat him alive year by year after the battle until the next one comes up.

Needless to say, he has a temper and an animalistic side no one can control, because they don't want to, and he was too afraid of himself to let them. It's an inner conflict of the mighty Wolverine that made him less like a hero, but like a soldier who was destined to live a life in misery and killing. The final movie of Wolverine is heartbreaking for me. The most pathetic team was born – a paralyzed old man, a depressed young girl who just escaped from a crazy institute where dissecting people is normal like eating three meals a day, and an alcoholic, dying man who had lost the purpose of living long since he killed the love of his life. Although it was the right thing to do for him to protect Laura and the mutant children, I couldn't help but thinking when will he get to choose the right thing to do, rather than it being forced upon him.

But undoubtedly, the people pleading him for help were the only connection between Logan and his human side. Being able to protect someone, even if it's mean risking his life, gave him a purpose to live and fight – despite how pathetic it may seem. He got the chance to reconnect with the real world, opening up to others and showing with actions, not with words, how much he was willing to risk to protect them, thus proved that even though his soul died, his heart still beats for others. Therefore, I cried so hard, watching him died the most tragic death – in battle. Although this seemed to be the most suitable ending for him, I strongly believe Logan deserved more than anyone, his own happiness. With all the sacrifices that he made, I expect him to have a life more or less like a normal person – a house, a job, and maybe a family – and die in old age, surrounded by the people whom he risked his life protecting. But it was too much to ask. He lived a life of a soldier: killing, hiding, and guilting himself every day for the lives of his loved ones being taken away because of him, and died the dead of a soldier – fighting because he had to. It wasn't his ideal that he sacrificed for, but it was his empathy that was the death of him. He cared too much, despite telling himself he would stop caring; he fought too hard, despite telling himself to stop fighting; and he had a heart that was too big, that overlooked the sorrow of himself to carry the burden of others.

To me, his death was nothing but a mocking to his existence as Wolverine and an unjustify crime against his life devoting for others. What could be so depressing that a man who had all of this power had to drown himself in alcohol and look for dealth, and what was the depth of his empathy and kindness that drove him to fight every frickin' time someone pleaded at him, despite it leaving him wounded deeper every time, I ask myself. Just because some delirious organization mutated his genes ordered their crazy doctors to plant claws on his knuckles which bleed every time he used them, doesn't mean he have to sacrifice his life to protect mankind's peace and honor – the same kind that massacred his 'species'. And just because he doesn't want to be a monster, drinking men's blood and building armies of mutants, doesn't mean they get to make a killing machine out of him, stripping a man off of his free will and loved ones.

Wolverine is a hero to me, and will continue to be so, even if his body is six feet underground, or people calling him a murderer and an animal. I may not understand why he lived his life like he did, but I do feel for his soul which has been trapped and torn by the mistakes of his past. The last movie of this legendary hero wasn't called 'Wolverine,' because this was a title – nothing more, nothing less – of a figure people expected him to become. Instead, 'Logan,' his own name which reminded us of how much he is a human just like us, and how he will be remembered not by his heroic title, but by the name of a man who lived, sacrificed and fought for what was right.


End file.
